Farmgirl's Guide To Getting It Right For Valentine's Day

Hey There!

Team Farmgirl here.

Having had a front row seat to almost fifteen Valentine's Days now, it's safe to say we've learned a thing or two about Cupid's favorite holiday (and favorite time to gift fresh flowers and/or surprise them with an online flower delivery). First, only the white conversation hearts are edible. Second, all chocolate is good chocolate if it's loved by the person you're gifting it to. And last, of all the holidays that crop up on the calendar each year, this one can be one of the more complicated for some folks.

And while we know that you know that we can wax philosophical about all the reasons why, one of the biggest is that with generations of marketing and expectations and TV shows and movies and Hallmark cards trumping up this idea that February 14th is the be all and end all of romantic love, it's no wonder some of y'all are under pressure. And we're here to tell you that's fair. And also, we're here to help.

We've put together some of our top (let's call them) guidelines for getting it right for Valentine's Day. And by right we mean celebrating stress free. Because, real talk, the only acceptable time that love and stress should go together is if the BBC versions of Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth are navigating its uncharted waters.

Tenet # 1 | Forget it not. Mark February 14th in your calendars now.

Ok, so this one is pretty straight forward. Remember it. Of all the holidays on the calendar, it doesn't necessarily have the significance of, say, a milestone birthday or, if you celebrate it, something like Christmas. But it is the sort of holiday where just showing up with a card or bouquet of fresh flowers goes a long way to making your partner feel appreciated, seen and celebrated. Do future you a favor and mark this one on your calendar today.

Tenet # 2  | Plan ahead. Make the reservation/map out your date/buy the flowers early.

The first step is remembering it. The second step is doing something about it. Whether you're going big or little, the real trick here is to think about your partner. What's their thing? Maybe they're always reminiscing about how y'all met and so you book a table at that restaurant you went for your first date. Or you order their favorite fresh flowers for delivery (everyone loves a surpise at their doorstep!). Or they're a book worm and you find a reading at a local bookstore by their favorite author. A little forethought and maybe ten minutes Googling will go a long way here - we promise.

Tenet # 3 | Be y-o-u. If grand gestures aren’t your thing, keep it simple.

While no one is stopping you from donning a trench coat and scouring secondhand shops for a boombox to profess your love Lloyd Dobbs style, there's a case for something a little less public - and potentially irritating to your neighbors if you don't live on some serious acreage - when it comes to Valentine's Day gifts. The thing about grand gestures is that sometimes their grandness can also feel really intimidating, especially if you're the type of person who shows up for the people you love in smaller, subtler ways. Like leaving a coffee by their bedside every morning. Or always remembering their favorite bagel and cream cheese at the grocery store. Or sending them their favorite Farmgirl Flowers bouquet or most stunning vase arrangement (shameless plus, we know). At the end of the day, it's not the size of the effort - it's the specificity of the effort. Think about all the ways you say or, in some instances, act out "I love you" everyday and just turn up the volume on one of those gestures a little bit for Valentine's Day.

Tenet # 4 | Be original. They don’t necessarily want the roses + baby’s breath + cellophane trifecta. You’ve only been told (by decades of marketing spend) that they do.

You and your partner are one in a million. Find a way to say "Happy Valentine's Day" that's as special as the two of you. That may be red roses or baby's breath, or even a combo of the two, but for so many that's the default because that's what we've been told is the go to. Specialness doesn't come from price tags or size, it comes from its specificity - make your Valentine's Day gift specific to your partner and choose flowers that suits their preferences, or as we like to call it, floral form.

Tenet # 5 | No stuffed bears, gummy bears.

Again - if stuffed bears are your thing - or their thing - then by all means, get your teddy bear on. But most adults have left their stuffed animals in their parents attics and crawl spaces, right next to their Lite-Brites and the math textbook their "dog ate" back in the seventh grade. If you're going bears - make it something sweet (pssst... add them to your Farmgirl flower delivery order!).

Tenet # 6 | Speaking of sweets, might we suggest some chocolate?

But if gummies aren't their thing - maybe chocolate is? From next to the People magazine in the checkout line at the grocery store to single origin bean to bar, there's so many ways to get this one right. Just as long as you remember to put it in your cart.

Tenet # 7 | Whatever you’re gifting, a blank space is not an option. Write the darn card.

Words are pretty clearly our love language here at Farmgirl, but even for the less verbose a handwritten reminder of why they're special is, well, pretty special feeling. So don't forget the card with your Valentine's Day gift. And, if you wanna go the extra mile, spend an extra thirty seconds telling them just one of the reasons you love them so much.

Tenet # 8 | Still stumped? Asking what they want ahead of time doesn’t make a present any less of a gift.

This one's a big one for us. Gifting isn't everyone's love language. If it doesn't come naturally to you and you're looking to do something special, don't let it cause you stress. Instead of letting it add to your mental load for the next two weeks, short cut it and ask your sweetheart what would make them feel most special come Valentine's Day. We promise - the love and thoughtfulness isn't undercut by the lack of surprise. And, bonus points, you'll be able to fully show up and be present if you haven't spent the first half of the month stressing about the day.

Tenet # 9 | From Vals to Pals, ‘tines come in all forms. Send a little love to all your loved ones this February.

Whether you're unattached or just love to love, Valentine's Day gifting doesn't have to be all about romantic love. From your besties to your brothers and sisters to your mom and dad, try surprising your loved ones with a little treat come February 14th. And even something little goes a long way here - it's the unexpectedness that makes it extra special!

Tenet # 10 \ Don’t forget yourself. Big or small, treat yourself come Valentine’s Day, too.

As Ru Paul says, "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" True story: your relationship with y-o-u needs as much tending as your relationship with anyone else. Take Valentine's Day as your reminder to go above and beyond the usual brush/floss/wash your face routine. Those are the basics. Treating yourself to something special, whether that's a flower delivery for you or something else you really love (and you know what you love best!), means making yourself a priority, too. The whole put-your-oxygen-mask-on-first thing may feel like something that should stay in the self help section, but showing up for yourself means you give yourself what you need to show up for others when and how you want to. So especially if you're usually the type to feel selfish for taking some you time, try to reframe this as some necessary refueling for being the best you for everyone else, everyday.

Happy February and a very happy early Valentine's Day to y'all.

xoxo,

Team Farmgirl